is a town on a hill, and I live on top of that hill. I had the
dream of a perfect world, without sorrows, without pain, without
I thought that love was the answer to it, love
could overcome death...
I wanted to change this brutal
and mean world, which was so full of evil things. But how to
do? Well, at least I tried...
I meditated... and tried
out magic... I found a way... I did not know Jesus at that time
I went to the highest spot in my town, closed my
eyes and visualized a wave of love leaving me, going round the
world, coming back to my place, being multiplied at every spot
where there were people open to be touched by it and pass it
away again... A world wide web spun of love that would reach
everybody in the end...
I still have a poem (in German,
however, but I can share) which I wrote in those days. I called
it "The Wave of Love". I guess I really started something
Interesting enough, after I did that, God turned
up in my life... He started to call me, to attract me like a
magnet, and the longing to live with Him got stronger and stronger
until I could not resist and gave my life to Jesus about four
This vision of this wave seems to have become
true if I see the stats of "Growing Deeper". Things
have changed, however, to the better. I did not know then, but
I know now, that love only exists in Jesus Christ. But maybe
he saved me because he saw I really meant what I was doing.
I am much encouraged to send His love to all places in this
Please join me! Join me by spreading the Good
News, or, even better, feel touched by the wave of Jesus' Love!
Let us send the wave of love around the world again, telling
everybody about Jesus, who He was, and that He loved us so much
that He died for us. Could there be more love than to die for
thought it was just an old and obsolete book, not worth to have
a look at. Lying. Ambiguous. Not trustworthy. A bad history book.
But there were Christians who deeply believed in God, and somehow
I envied them, but could not get there over that bridge that joins
God and man.
I wanted to know. I wanted to know everything.
I wanted to know everything about life, about this big, big puzzle,
that only waited for me to be put together. I just did not give
People told me that I should not worry about life,
and that we would never know... But I just did not give up.
An endless number of pieces lying there. I had to pick them
up all, but what was the sense in that?
Some were pieces
which did not build the picture of life, but just fit in to make
a larger part complete. Others were much clearer. They showed colours
and objects, yes. There were white ones, more than black ones, and
that was good. But I needed all to get the picture of truth. I really
had never hoped to get something so clearly as I got them later.
Then I met someone in a forum in the internet, and I was so
much attracted of what he said. I could feel there was more to it
than mere words. He really seemed to live with God. But if there
was a living God, I wanted to get to know him! Yes, that was what
I wanted with all my heart.
And then it happened. God himself
touched me with his love. He bent down to me. He attracted me, and
I could not resist this overwhelming love. Like a magnet it drew
me to him. And I started reading the Bible, after so many books
I had read, so many that had led to nowhere but more questions.
Reading the Bible it happened that God spoke to me then, and
I could understand that he spoke to me, yes, to me! He spoke to
me right from the Bible - the Words there were addressed only to
me, only to me. He showed me how people are, how I am, and how he
is. And he made it very, very clear that he loved me so much.
And I suddenly knew the truth - though did not know the name
of my great God yet. It took me a bit longer to understand that
God had come down to earth as a man to die for me. It took me much
too long. But God was patient with me.
In the end I surrendered
my life to him being seen and heard by more than 300 people in an
evangelization. I was the only one who did so that evening. I could
see what God had done for me, how much he had always loved me and
how badly I had behaved against him, showing him no love at all.
That was my biggest sin, yes. I had not asked him in my life, not
counted him in. I had been into esoterics without a single thought
if he might like that idea. That was bad.
The Bible is
true - that was what I had to confess. No further looking for answers,
I had been looking for so long. All there is in the Bible is true.
It is true not because you might find it logical - though it is.
It is true the moment God himself speaks to you. You suddenly understand,
and it is more than just a feeling, or a believing, indeed everything
gets clear. It is an impressive experience. It is a knowledge that
has been checked and proved again and again.
with me now - that is the best thing! He is there, around me all
the time, yes, all the time. I can trust him, always, I can lean
back and rely on him.
years, I was in the world of Mormonism; and I just did not
see how anything outside of that world could save anyone.
Then one day, God put a hunger in my heart for Jesus.
Suddenly it was just there, a driving unrelenting hunger for
Jesus! And I could not begin to fill it in the Mormon church.
Day and night, week after week, the hunger continued.
Remembering that the Christians talked a lot about Jesus,
I turned to Christian radio and listened to program after program.
Finally on Passover day about noon, as I listened to a
Christian minister teaching from the book of Romans about
how Christ went to the cross as our Righteous Substitute,
suddenly as though light broke through, I understood!
Christ was my Righteousness and my Salvation. I took all
my trust for salvation off of myself, my church, my baptism,
my efforts to repent, my efforts to be good enough, and
placed all my trust for salvation on Jesus Christ alone.
In that exact moment, Christ came into my heart, and
instead of just knowing about him, I now knew him as though
meeting him face to face! I knew Christ, and I knew
I had eternal life! I had been saved by grace through faith
in Jesus Christ. The driving hunger had been filled.
No longer fitting in at the Mormon church, I soon began to attend
a Christian church. Afterwards, I was to find out what the
apostle Paul meant when he said our struggle is not against
flesh and blood. Year after year, the unseen darkness behind
Mormonism tried deception and oppression in its effort against
my faith for salvation in Christ alone.
Through all the
struggle, the Lord Jesus Christ has taught me to keep my
trust on him to see me through. Our repentance is to be toward
God, and our faith for salvation is to stay on our Lord
Jesus Christ rather than on ourselves or our efforts. Christ
is our Righteousness and our Salvation!
day I became a Christian, I did something I had not done in
all my searching for God, and there had been a lot. But
God had brought me to this point, and what was about to happen
would change me forever. I took my trust for salvation off
of church, and baptism, and my efforts, and my service, and
my giving, and my everything else, and put all my trust on Christ
for my salvation. What happened then was the most powerful experience
I have ever had!
12, I joined the Lutheran church. As part of the study group,
I had accepted the doctrine of justification by faith; at
least, I supposed that I had. But without realizing it,
I was thinking my efforts and baptism and church membership
were counting toward salvation.
Something seemed to be
missing. So years later, I went forward at an evangelistic
crusade and prayed the sinner's prayer. But without realizing
it, I still supposed that being saved and staying saved
depended in part on us.
Something was still missing.
I began looking at different denominations. I could not decide
on one or the other. Then the Mormons came along, and after
a series of lessons I became a member of that church.
Now my efforts and baptism and church membership were supposedly
earning godhood. The spirit manifesting itself (as in answering
prayers) was assumed to be the Spirit of God, and the additional
books of revelations were assumed to be from God.
I became aware that the founder had used a peep stone to
hunt for buried treasure (a common occult activity of his day),
and that he had used the same stone to produce most of his new
bible. But that occult activity that should have concerned
me did not. In fact, though I studied in depth the arguments
against Mormonism, and had many Christians coming across
my path, I could not be reached.
I became part of the
local leadership, yet something still seemed to be missing.
But I could see no reason to look outside of the world of Mormonism.
I did not realize it then, but there was no hope for me
unless God chose by his grace to pull me from darkness into
Then there came a day like so many other
days, but something was different, intensely different.
There was a hunger in my heart for Jesus. It was just suddenly
there from God: An intense driving hunger for Jesus. It
was just as real as hunger for food, but it was in my heart
and it was for Jesus.
Despite all the talk about Jesus
that occurred in the Mormon church, nothing there could begin
to satisfy the unrelenting driving hunger.
Then I remembered
that the Christians had a lot to say about Jesus. So I began
to listen to Christian radio. Day after day, week after
week, I listened as I sought to fill the driving hunger.
My name is Fayga, I am a Jewish believer In Yeshua for many years.
My father was the President of an orthodox syagogue, he was quite
upset when he found out that I received the L-rd Yeshua into my
heart. It took alot of courage to face him and tell him of my decision
to follow Yeshua. He immediately began to ignore me and refused
to speak to me. My mother kept her emotiions inside of her
but was still talking to me. I felt very hurt by what he was doing
to me, but the love of Yeshua kept me. My father called my
brother to tell him that I decided to accept Yeshua as my messiah,
my brother then called me and asked if anyone is forcing me to believe
this way. I told him that I believe in Yeshua with all my heart.
He told my father to leave me alone and let me believe the
way I want to. The next time I spoke to my father he told me that
he was going to disown me and I told him if that is what you want
to do, then do it. After a couple of weeks when he realized that
I was not going to change my mind, he started to talk to me again,
but he was still angry about my love for Yeshua. We soon joined
a nice messianic fellowship not far from our home. My husband and
I became very active in the congregation which had a very beautiful
jewish atmosphere. The L-rd blessed us with 3 wonderful sons which
all had their Bar Mitzva in the messianic temple which my parents
and my in-laws attended. My father even said Yiskor in the
temple for his father. After 10 years of faithfully serving G-d,
my husband was ordained as an elder in our congregation, that was
17 years ago and we continue to rejoice in G-ds love through Yeshua.
My father and mother passed away a few years ago and he actually
wanted to cut me out of his will but my brother told him that
this was terribly wrong, so he decided after talking with my brother
to leave everthing to the grandchildren. My brother is a good soul
and I love him very much. My love for Yeshua continues to grow
and my husband Yakov and I are always rejoicing in his great love
for us. Each year we feel more and more jewish as Yeshua leads us
closer and closer to G-d. I wish that every jewish person
could feel as jewish as we do and be as jewish as we are. Only Yeshua
can make people feel this jewish and he brings real joy to my life.
In the name of Yeshua Fayga
was born, baptized, and raised catholic and never felt close to
God in anyway. I sat down to confess to a priest and felt good for
a few days or so, or I sat down in church to listen to the same
thing that had been said the previous year at the exact same time!
My point is; I was thirsty and the catholic church didn't provide
me with what I needed. I believed in Jesus (what the catholic church
told me about Him) and believed He died on the cross for all, but
I didn't know why and nothing seemed to make sense. So one day
I started reading the bible and found that catholic was NOT the
way in any way, shape or form. I noticed some things that raised
concernsfor me, like; 1-Priests can marry 2-I didn't see
purgatory (where had it come from) 3-Mary was NOT a virgin all
her life 4-Mary did have other children 5-Call no man your
father 6-Where does the pope come from (un-scriptural) 7-Baptism
was never done on children 8-Narrow is the way (1 billion catholics
would not make a road narrow would it!) 9-sacraments 10-worship
Anyways, you can see why I had questions concerning
the catholic church! So it came down to who was right and who was
wrong! Was the bible wrong or was the catholic church wrong? I am
writing this today because I concluded that the Word of God is NEVER
wrong! Although I did not know the way at the time, I knew that
the catholic church wasn't the way! During the years, God has put
some great people on my path to help show me the way! And today,
my wife and I are baptized born-again Christians and the Lord has
blessed us time and time again! I just wanted to share this
with brothers and sisters in Christ!
May 11th, 2004
Though I know I am alone walking
on this planet I must dodge all the darts the Satan
followers throw at me, I have a friend in Jesus
that no one will take away from me nor me away from
Him. Praise be to the most High God through His
Son Jesus Christ, My Friend and close only companion.
Jesus is my Very
Best Friend. I
wouldn't go anywhere, or do anything without keeping
Him in mind. He has never forsaken me, and has
always been there for me. He even laughs at my jokes.
(I really hear him laugh sometimes)
love is the purest of all. I will relate a story
that I may have posted before, but here goes:
I had a dream that I entered a room, and there
were two chairs there. One was a throne overlaid in
Gold, and beautiful. The other chair in the room was
some sticks that had fallen from a tree and been bound
together with rope, and very shoddily at that. I saw
a bum standing next to the rickety chair, and I said
to him, the Throne is my chair, implying that the rickety
chair belonged to the bum. The bum said, "Yes,
the Throne is your chair." But when I looked into
this "bums" eyes, I saw pure love, and recognized
him for who he was. I said, no Lord, I deserve the rickety
chair. I begin to weep.
giving some thought to this. I'll attempt to put
my answer to this into psalm format."
My life belongs you O Lord
You are my life Lord Jesus My life has been in your
hands many times You have shown your great Mercy
to me You have given me Grace I exist because
of you I have peace because of you I have joy
because of you You are my life Lord Jesus Myself
alone I am nothing I am weak and I fall My Jesus
is strong With Jesus all things become possible
I stand and sing His praise I leap for joy at the
call of the Lord I will serve Him all my life
May the Name of Jesus be exalted above all others
May I think of Jesus every day of my life May I
praise Him all the days of my life I am alive in
Christ and sing Hallelujah I love you Jesus with
all that I am Jesus you are my life
Well, at the start of my life, He seemed like someone
very important. Everyone was talking about Him (they
even capitalized pronouns in His presence!), and talked
about the day when I would meet Him. I learned
about Him and had to close my eyes and talk to Him when
I'd rather be doing a face-dive into a sumptous bowl
of macaroni and cheeze - or just before I was about
to pass out on my pillow. Whoever He was, He indeed
was a very important person.
As I grew, I learned
that He was something called "God's Son",
and the only way to the Father. I learned that
He could take away sins and carry all of my guilt and
shame for me. "That's very nice of Him",
I thought -- still capitalizing my pronouns for fear
of ticking Him off! I learned such things as Him
being "the Way, the Truth and the Life".
It all seemed simple enough and even a tad enlightening.
Things were well and good and I continued to "learn".
But one day, I stumbled and fell. Then I fell
again, and soon found myself sliding deeper and deeper
into dispair and darkness. That is the day I learned
that dispite all of the pomp and circumstance that I
had learned about Jesus, that He was willing to come
to me even in the stinking pits of my disgust and dispair
- embrace me - lift me up - wash me off - and
set my feet back on the path He first ordained for me
to walk. My love for Him grew and I figured the
least I could do was give him some of the less-important
corners of my life.
Then I stumbled again,
and learned that Jesus loved me even though my feet
were quick to sin and my hands (and words) quick to
shed blood. I learned the true meaning of grace
and mercy and compassion, and love. Their name
is Jesus. I looked at the piddly corners and pockets
of my life I had given to Him and I felt something.
Not shame - for there could be no shame in the presence
of those loving, all-seeing (sometimes tear-filled)
eyes. No, I felt godly conviction. "I
died for you Craig -- are you willing to live for Me?
I died for you -- would you die to yourself, consider
all things as loss, so that I might live through you??"
"In a heartbeat LORD" I declared between
heart-rending sobs -- and my life changed at that moment.
But in hindsite, I could see that there were still
pockets of resistance in my life. Things that,
if they came along, Jesus was shown to the "waiting
room" in my temple to sit and wait while I indulged
in some thoughts of anger or vengeance, or attended
a gathering where Christ was not welcomed.
Yet patiently He sat and when I came 'home' in various
states of dis-array, He looked at me lovingly and asked,
"Are you truly happy where you are? Remember what
it was like when you were dead and I was living through
you?". And again, that strong but gentle conviction
was there unto holiness. What I could never have
accomplished by will and determination, He was accomplishing
by the power of His Spirit in me.
I was stubborn, and seeing how I had asked Him to help
me overcome the temptations in my life, the convictions
became stronger and stronger: still full of love
and mercy and compassion, but sometimes He really had
to convict strongly to break down the various high towers
of evil I had allowed to be built up in my life.
He still is patient with me. I'm learning
about something He gives called the Comforter - the
Teacher - the Holy Spirit. He was always there,
but I am just now learning how to give Him the "master-key"
to every single dark corner of my life. I am sensing
displeasing processes in my life sooner and sooner now,
and placing them back on the cross - dead where they
should be. And as I grow, greater challenges
come so I might grow stronger in Him. Already I really
feel that neither life nor death, powers nor principalities,
circumstances, tragedies nor mishaps will be able to
shake the relationship I have with Jesus that all began
that day I cried out to Him -- wanting Him to be more
than a teaching or a wise saying or "learning".
I wanted Him to be real, and to save me from myself.
I still have questions, and still feel the old temptations
and sometimes even give into them. Yet when I
do, He simply returns to the waiting room and waits
until I'm in some kind of mess and I go looking to be
redeemed to Him. He puts a ring on my finger and
a robe on my back and welcomes me. And the godly
conviction returns to encourage me not to repeat old
mistakes, but to grow. I never would have expected
He could do it, but He is turning me into a son He can
be proud of -- and had you known me before, you would
know what a stupendious miracle that is.
is Jesus? He is my life. He is my EVERYTHING.
Even those times when I fail Him, He calls me back
with just the right strength and tone of voice
for the occasion, just as loving parent would.
He's my friend who sticks closer than a brother, and
my role model. He's my hero. I want to be
just like Him. I want to be who He was for me,
He's my LORD. He's my Saviour.
He's my friend.
In time, I learned that He
is also God, sent in a form that we could fathom --
to die in our place and also to show us how a person
living in a body of flesh, relying totally upon the
Holy Spirit, could overcome all things in this life
-- even death.