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Opening | Voices | Love (Bible) | Stories | Missing you | Prayer | Animal Suicide| HELPGUIDE


 NEWS: Cheap international phone calls!

arrow5b.gifhttp://www.jajah.comThis seems to be new and has just come in the news here...Please choose "English" in the right corner at the top if you are an English speaker ...You can phone with your usual phone (but via the internet), and do not need a head-set. :-) It is for short and long distance calls, national or international, and really not expensive!

short story: You can beam me up! 



Dear Friends in ASH,

this page on Growing Deeper is reserved for you. I would like to keep those things you have written from your hearts here. I gave it the name "Broken Hearts". It is to encourage you to say what is inside of you and not to keep it to yourselves, it is to encourage those outside to understand you better and find ways to come closer to you and to get a better feeling for your needs. It is also to encourage people who might feel about the same like you do when they see they are not the only people on earth who feel like they do but can share with others what is so depressing them.

If you have own material which you think I should publish here, feel free to send it to me. You will keep the copyright, of course, this page is non-profit and without ads, and this is free for you. If you do not like things here, please let me know, and I will consider changing them.

Below there is the starter - a beautiful poem, and I have added something about what love means to me below. I hope there is more to come from you. We can also publish ideas, information, encouragements, prayers requests, prayersor other things here. Well, I will webmaster this page, but I depend on you to let me know about your wishes or needs. This could also be some practical help as well. There was a boy in ASH lately who wanted to commit suicide just because he thought he could not afford glasses. A friend of mine helped me and told me that the Lions Club in California is offering glasses for people with children and no money. So such infos could help much! Your own pictures and songs are welcome as well.

May your hearts all find peace.

Love to you,





This is from Chris - I think it is really a beautiful peom and Chris is really gifted.


I reside in a place of infinite descension
where a voice speaks no language
Light casts no shadow
tastes of nothingness
from scents of everything
lay upon my last i breath
'til i shall weep no more


© 2005, Chris1585 (dethrai) - all rights reserved



This is love.......

  ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>

Love is always patient,

Love is always kind,

Love is never envious

Or vaunted up with pride.

Nor is she conceited,

And never is she rude,

Never does she think of self

Or ever get annoyed.

She never is resentful,

Is never glad with sin,

But always glad to side with truth,

Whene'er the truth should win.

She bears up under everything,

Believes the best in all,

There is no limit to her hope,

And never will she fall.

Love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

<>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <><


~ vera ~




You can beam me up! |


There is much wisdom in this story recommended to me in ASH...

The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 cups of coffee...

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee...

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.  He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand.

The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things-your God, your family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions -- things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else -- the small stuff.

"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play with your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.
Play another 18.
There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal."

Take care of the golf balls first -- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."


Author unknown. The story is regarded to be in the public domain.





You can beam me up!

Lord, it's boring to walk here in the cold and dark. You could beam me there, why don't you beam me up and transfer me to my church? Oh, you could do it, Lord. Do it, just for me, just this time. You're the Master of the time, aren't you? The people in front of me wouldn't notice if you let it run a little faster.

Great God, how beautiful is the sky, and all the beautifully twinkling stars there. This one there has a shade of red. Beautiful. And there's a blue one, too, but most of them are just golden. You made them all, all the stars there, like you made everything and everyone. You might've made every single star there with your hands, all the billions. You are so great! Nothing on this earth happens that you wouldn't know. And I know you're in control of everything, of my life, of this world and what is going on. You are in control of the problems I have, and of the problems of the little boy with the big dark eyes far away in Africa, crying for his mother to feed him. I know you will care, and tell others to care. And there is nothing that happens without your allowance. But I know that everything that comes from you is good, simply good, as good as good can be. Excellent. Marvellous. But there's no word that could describe how beautiful you are. Just unbelievable that you care about me. I'm so small, and you are so great, and all the time I fail. I am as small as one of the snow flakes that fall down to the ground, softly, while they are landing softly like in a loving hand, and it is as if they wanted to dance and sing. "From Heaven are we where we met the Lord", they sing. It's a song of joy, suddenly the air is full of joy, full of God. The dim light makes the snow on the pavement glitter, and there's no more dark, but all is bright and light and beauty. It looks as if all the billions of stars are mirrored in the snow where they are caught and then thrown into space again. It is strange, I am not cold anymore. I feel warm and safe in your hands, Lord. You are my God, and you are so wonderful. You fill up my heart with a silent fire that was lightened by all the sparks of the dancing stars, and now my heart is burning - for you, Jesus. I should pray more often on the way, no, I should better pray without ceasing. I love to be close to you. Please attract all the other people, too, and fill their hearts with your warming love.

Oh, there's the church door already! How did I get here? I must have been walking...

::: vera :::

25th February, 2005




I have just e-mailed Ed, but this came back:

Sometime this morning, June 8th, my brother passed away in his sleep.
The coroner has said that the exact cause of death will not be known until the autopsy is complete.

My brother left me a list of all his email accounts and his passwords, asking me to add this announcement to the accounts I will not be updating this statement.  It does not really matter anymore.


Good-bye, Ed.

I do not know what your last ideas were, so I hope you could make it.

I am sad I could not get to know you more than I did. But maybe we meet again.

May God be with your family now and give them comfort.

~ vera ~




A friend from ASH asked me to post this prayer, and he hopes it will give comfort to others as well ...

     Lighten our darkness, we beseech thee, O Lord, and by thy great mercy defend us from all perils and dangers of this night, for the love of thy only son, our saviour Jesus Christ. Amen.




Animal Suicide...

Someone posted this interesting link to a story of suicidal sheep

arrow5b.gif http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/turkey_sheep_dc


Weird enough, the Bible speaks of pigs doing the same:

And they came over to the other side of the sea, to the country of the Gadarenes. And when He had come out of the boat, immediately a man with unclean spirits met Him out of the tombs, who had his dwelling among the tombs. And no one could bind him, no, not with chains because he had often been bound with fetters and chains, and the chains had been torn apart by him, and the fetters broken in pieces. Nor could anyone subdue him. And always, night and day, he was in the mountains and in the tombs, crying and cutting himself with stones. And when he saw Jesus afar off, he ran and worshiped Him, and cried with a loud voice, and said, What is to me and to You, Jesus, son of the Most High God? I adjure You by God not to torment me. For He said to him, Come out of the man, unclean spirit! And He asked him, What is your name? And he answered, saying, My name is Legion, for we are many. And he begged Him very much that He would not send them outside the country. And a great herd of pigs was feeding near the mountains. And all the demons begged Him, saying, Send us into the pigs, that we may enter into them. And immediately Jesus allowed them. And the unclean spirits went out and entered into the pigs. And the herd ran violently down a steep place into the sea (they were about two thousand), and were choked in the sea. And the ones who fed the pigs fled and told it in the city and in the country. And they went out to see what it was that was done. And they came to Jesus and saw him who had been demon-possessed, and had the legion, sitting and clothed and right-minded, the one who had the legion. And they were afraid. And those who had seen told them how it happened to the one who had been demon-possessed, and about the pigs. And they began to beg Him to leave their borders. And when He had come into the boat, the former demoniac begged Him that he might be with Him. However Jesus did not allow him, but said to him, Go home to your friends, and tell them what great things the Lord has done for you, and has had mercy on you. And he departed and began to proclaim in Decapolis how much Jesus had done for him. And all marvelled.

(Mark 5:1-20 MKJV)











If you are thinking about suicide, read this first:


What to do? How can we help?
arrow5b.gifMore to come...  

Panic attacks?

arrow5b.gifMore to come...

Maytree, a sanctuary for the suicidal in London, UK:


 Cheap international phone calls!

arrow5b.gifhttp://www.jajah.comThis seems to be new and has just come in the news here...Please choose "English" in the right corner at the top if you are an English speaker ...You can phone with your usual phone (but via the internet), and do not need a head-set. :-) It is for short and long distance calls, national or international, and really not expensive!  

More to come...








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